Rowan: 6 months!

Half a year. How can this be?! I cannot believe we are half way to the one year mark already. My baby is getting so so big. Every month I find myself saying "This is my favorite age!" But really... he is getting to be so much fun.

Baby:

- I think over the last couple of months his growth has slowed down a lot. I'll be surprised if he's gained more than a pound or two at his next doctor's appointment next week. Which is kind of nice after burning through clothes every two weeks. He's been able to wear the same clothes over the last couple of months now.  Maybe he will end up being a little peanut like his momma and daddy after all ? 

- Rowan is getting better at sitting up for longer periods of time now. He sits in the triangle position and plays with toys for a few minutes, but he's not at the point where he is pushing himself up to sit. 

-This boy can roll FAST. And he can scootch and wiggle himself anywhere he wants to go. I have to be really careful about letting him be on the floor now, because he will find that one tiny little piece of fuzz to chew on even after I've just vacuumed. EVERYTHING goes in his mouth. 

-I think he is teething again. The drooling and gnawing on everything is back. Shhhh. Don't tell my boobies, they are already cowering in fear. 

-Changing his diaper is not easy anymore. He is constantly rolling over and grabbing the bars for leverage to pull himself away (he's strong!) and he's also figured out how to pull the tabs on his diaper to get it off. So while I'm putting it on, he's just trying to take it back off again. He has a special "changing table toy" that he only gets while he's there... but it doesn't distract him much.

-Big boy only gets his binky for naps, bedtime and car rides now.

-He is now getting to the point where he is content to play without me. WHOO HOO! He will play in his jumperoo, exersaucer, or pack n play for an hour sometimes without crying. I can get the kitchen cleaned without stopping a million times now. It's a relief! 

-Rowan loves: 

Bath time still. He is such a riot, splashing and playing with his little toys. Which include the family jewels, ha. Jared and I just crack up at him.

squeal/screaming when he laughs. It's the best!

 Eating. I have visions of what our grocery bill will be when he's a teenager....  Oh my.

Here is his eating schedule:

6 or 7am- nurses.

930- mixed grain cereal, apple sauce and banana

12- nurses.

3- sweet potatoes or carrots (this week. He's also had peas and we will stick to a veggie in the afternoon. Sometimes nurses or a bottle, but he usually only wants a few oz.

645- cereal bottle and nurses. 

somewhere between 1-3am nurses again. 

R is such a daddy's boy. He gets so happy just hearing his voice on the phone. It's adorable. When Jared is home that is ALL he wants- forget about me! 

Being outside. If he is crabby, we go for walks. I let him touch the tree bark, the grass, leaves and flowers and he is soo cute just exploring everything. Jared and I took an hour and half walk a few days ago and he konked out. We are excited to walk with him every day now!

Breastfeeding: We made it to 6 months! I consider that a huge accomplishment and I'm proud to say that Rowan did not have any formula for his first six months of life. This last week I have tried him on some, and he did not seem to notice a big difference between that or a bottle of breastmilk. He isn't great about taking a bottle, but we're going to try and work him in slow so that he gets more used to it. Nursing him has been a big struggle lately. Between me being super jumpy about his teeth, sore from where he has bit me enough to draw blood, and him coming off every two seconds to look around at everything, talk to me, try to get to Jared, or pinching my skin, pulling my hair, putting his hands in my mouth.... you get the idea. It hasn't been a lot of fun. But he still wants to nurse more than he wants a bottle... it's so cute, when he wants to eat now he will grab my shirt and lean in with his mouth wide open. Makes me laugh :) But I did decide that if he weans himself off of breastfeeding before a year, or I just can't take the biting anymore that it isn't worth it to me just exclusively pump. I give major props to mamas that can do that- but formula is just way easier. I know I had said that I didn't want him to have any, but I had a change of heart I guess. I was sad the first time I gave it to him, but realistically I know he should get used to it now. Especially because if I get pregnant any time soon, your milk usually dries up around 12 wks and he would have to have it. 

Speaking of which....

GREAT NEWS!!

3 days of positive OPKs last week!!

Of course, that doesn't mean that I for sure ovulated - but I am excited none the less!! Say a prayer for us if you think about it please :) We were both really surprised and excited to see that and we had great timing! 

Half-birthday pictures:

Mother's Day Weekend

Lately.

Lately........

Life is busy with wedding preparations...

Me&R getting ready to leave for a bridal shower.

And I am throwing my sister's bridal shower this weekend too. I am loving preparing the decorations, and planning the menu! Can't wait! (and holy crap, only 5 weeks until the weddings are here!)

Lately....Rowan is my shopping buddy & big boy sits in the cart now! 

We love our shopping cart cover.

Lately....These two boys are joined at the hip and I can't get enough of watching them together. 

Lately....we've been busy with having lots of friends over... 

Lately....I've been busy working on some paintings & I've been thinking about getting 10-20 pieces done and then opening an etsy shop! It's just finding the time to work on it... I will probably really start it more in the summer once we aren't so busy. 

Lately....We haven't had much progress on working on our bedroom so we are *still* in the guest room. I'm hoping it will be done in the next month or so. 

Lately....I cannot WAIT for this semester to be over so Jared is home more. Only two more weeks!!! 

Lately....Still no progress on my period showing any signs of starting again.... I'm hoping it will soon! 

Lately....Breast feeding has taken an interesting turn with the appearance of Rowan's two bottom teeth. Yikes! Teeth were never a part of my plan. And yes, he has bit me probably the last ten feedings in a row. And then he laughs when I scream. Oh.my.gosh. this little boy is smart. I keep telling him "no biting!" sternly, but who knows if he really understands at this point. A few people have suggested that I flick him when he does it, but neither jared or I am comfortable with that and don't think that he is old enough to understand that at all. I had said that I would be done once he had teeth, but even with the biting, it isn't worth it to stop. It's the most nutritionally beneficial for him to have breast milk until at LEAST a year old. It would be stupid to spend the money on formula when I have a good (over supply even) of milk and it's not as good for him. I don't want him to have formula. And lets be honest- a boob is SO convenient. It's always there, and the milk is always warm and ready to go. Rowan has no patience. I can't imagine having to make him wait while I fixed a bottle while he was hungry and crying during the night.  *Hopefully* the night time feedings will be coming to an end soon anyways. We are currently up twice a night nursing, and he's sleeping 12-14 hours a night! Whomp whomp. 

Lately.... I could care less about milestones. My sweet baby will be six months old in a couple weeks. SIX. Half a freaking year. (and yes, we are totally having a half-birthday bash for him! whoo!) Time is speeding by, and I find myself wanting to absorb every minute with him and not rush it at all. I love that he is growing and learning. But there is only once in his life that he will be this little, need me this much. I don't care if he isn't crawling/walking/talking when other babies are. He can take him time. That stuff doesn't matter. He's healthy and happy... and mine. I'm in no rush for those things to happen! Because once they do, there is no going back and he's moving towards his independence with blinding speed. Don't get me wrong. I will be SO excited once he does start those things and be so proud of my little boy and celebrate his growth. But for now.... I cherish that he can't do anything without me yet. The time will come before I know it that he is grown. 

Lately... I am just ready for warm weather!! I hate that we don't get spring in NY. We had two nice weeks of unusually warm weather and then it went back to being cold. It snowed last week. :( 

Lately I've been trying to be a good wife and think of ways to save money. Here are my top things:

- Using hand towels instead of paper towels.

- Using containers instead of plastic bags

- I'm going to plant a lot of veggies and fruit in our garden! 

- Jared is going to make me a clothes line and as soon as it gets warm.

- Making my own sweet tea & drinking more water instead of store-bought drinks.

Rowan's First Time at the Zoo & Cousin love

Me & my niece Sadie!

Arms full of babies. Good feeling :)

Getting tired on Daddy.

Sister in law Steph and Sadie!

Choo choo ride!

Amazon rain forest

Holding hands in the car... so adorable!

Shopping with Grammy

Ahhh I love this.

Me and my boy <3

We love to be outside!

Ready for Round Two... Already!

I have so many things on my heart lately about this. I hope I can get it all out in a coherent manner. So here goes...

We took precautions not to get pregnant again for about six weeks after Rowan was born. Yep, that's it. After that, Jared came home from work and told me, "I prayed and asked God to give us another baby soon. I don't want to try and prevent it anymore." Can a girls heart melt any more?! He is such a wonderful Daddy, and it is so precious to me that he wants another one right away. I, on the other hand did not want to be pregnant again right away. Jared changed my mind about it in a heartbeat. And we had several long talks that completely reinforced the decision in both of our hearts so that neither one of us has a single doubt about it.

I'm breast feeding and at 5 months PP, I still haven't had a period, so realistically I knew we probably wouldn't get pregnant right away anyways. But here is our train of thought on wanting our family to grow again so soon:

- Rowan. Yep, he's one of the biggest reasons to have another baby fast. I think some people would say that your first baby deserves to have his mom and dad all to himself for a while, and all the attention. And while that might be fine for some people- we see what is best for our son above anyone else. And Rowan? He needs a playmate. Boy is high maintenance. He is the happiest babe in the world if he's constantly being paid attention to. And while the majority of my day is giving him just that- I do have other things to do. It's nice to have this big house but it is a LOT of work to keep clean. Rowan had the chance to spend some time with his older cousin Sadie this week, and he just LOVED having another little person around to watch. Not only will it be beneficial for him to have someone else to help keep him entertained, it will be good for him to learn early on how to share and play well with others. The sister that I am closest in age with is my best friend, and I'd love for my children to be close in age and be best friends as well. It's such a wonderful thing!

- It's hard being up during the night so much, and so busy during the day. Wait... that sounds like a reason NOT to have another baby to add to that! Nope. Our thought on that is... why wait until Rowan gets easy and then go through the hard newborn stage all over again? We might as well have a few years of sleep deprivation and craziness (since we're ALREADY there), have our family as close in age as we can... and then just be done with that part of parenthood period.

- I'm sure everyone knows by now that we had a hard time getting pregnant with Rowan. It took us nearly a year and a half and two early miscarriages. God had a sovereign plan in that, and at the time it was the hardest thing I've ever gone through in my life. I'm still dealing with the effects of it. But I'm so thankful for how the Lord worked in our lives and then blessed us with the best thing on earth imaginable. With that in mind, and how long it took last time- there is no reason to try and wait now. It would be wonderful not to have that struggle again, but we have to think that it's very possible that we might. In that case, we should start trying as soon as possible.

-God blessed us with a four bedroom house, and a good job for Jared. We have the room and the means to have more children and we both LOVE being parents. It's the highest calling we've had the privilege of fulfilling in our lives. Careers and money are so empty and hollow in comparison. THIS is worth so much more.

-Have you seen my baby? He's adorable. He's soooo amazing. Who wouldn't want more of that!? ;)

- I dreamed of being pregnant for years. And I was blessed to have a fairly easy pregnancy and delivery. I LOVED being pregnant. The thing is, we were so incredibly busy moving, and getting this house ready that I missed out on enjoying a lot of my pregnancy. There were so many things that I wanted to do that I didn't. Things about my delivery that in retrospect, I realized they didn't follow my birth plan on some pretty important things. I never even got to see what Rowan looked like as he came out. She didn't hold him up, say "he's here!" excitedly, or place him on my chest immediately. I didn't even get to hold him until I was done being stitched and he was already washed and dressed. I don't have pictures or video of him coming out either, so I don't even get to look back on it. I'm crushed by this and wish often that I could relive it. I'm excited to be pregnant again and get to do the things I missed out on last time. To just enjoy it, and enjoy seeing my boy have a sibling and only focus on that.

I'm sure there's more that I'm not remembering right now. But here's how I feel about all of this...

I'm scared. I already *really* want it. And I am so scared I am going to have a hard time getting pregnant again. But I'm excited too. Last time, it was not enjoyable for us to TTC. We were faced with disappointment and heart break month after month, and unpleasant infertility testing and expenses. This time, we have our incredible baby boy and I'm excited at the possibility. Jared and I had a long talk after church last sunday about how we want it to be with TTC this time. And we decided that it's really all about our hearts attitude. We are so so thankful with how the Lord has already blessed us, and we want to trust him with our lives, be content in His plan and how He decides to grow our family. We learned the lesson last time that WE don't control making babies. We can do everything right and it still doesn't matter- God creates life. He gives and he takes away. And even though we learned that lesson before, we'll probably need to keep learning it. We can easily fall into the trap of thinking we can control it.

Which is why we decided to forgo charting this time. We may do it after my first PP period, just to make sure that I'm ovulating monthly but probably not beyond that. I will however, be buying some Wondfo's off amazon and start testing every month. I know quite a few people that got pregnant while breast feeding without even a period in between. And with my folic acid issue, I need to be on prescription prenatal vitamins right away to make sure my body is absorbing it correctly. If I'm not on them right away, we risk more miscarriages, or a child with neural tube defects or Spina Bifida. Jared's been asking me to buy them anyways because I've been unusually tired even though Rowan has gone back to being up only once or twice a night (YESS!!!!) , crying at weird things (I don't usually cry much at all), and generally feeling out of sorts. So we'll see. It's probably nothing. So while we were hoping to not TTC at all, and just be surprised for the next one, it really wouldn't be the most wise thing with our medical issues. I am planning on getting blood work done soon, to re-check by folic acid absorption. If it is still the same as before, i should probably start taking my rx prenatals right away.

And starting today, I am trying to cut down my breast feeding sessions in order to get my period back so we actually have a shot sometime soon. Yup, my boobs are up to my collar bone and reallllly uncomfortable right now. My ideal time would be to get pregnant in August or early fall, but if it happened tomorrow I'd be thrilled too. And I know God's plans are *always* different than my own, so I am positive that it won't happen the way I would try to plan it anyways. Family is and always has been my dream. Not a career, not school. But even if we only ever had Rowan, it would be amazing and I'd be sooo happy with just him. He's already more than I deserve.

So that's the scoop. Any prayers for us are much appreciated!!

Rowan: 5 months!

What?! It feels like baby boy has been part of our family forever & at the same time I can't believe he's getting so big. Here's what's new with baby & mama:

Rowan


* Cut his first tooth this weekend. The other one right next to it is on it's way up too!

* Boy is all over the place! I will put him on his play mat, and look up a few seconds later and he'll be across the floor!

* LOVES to jump. Even if I'm holding him, all little mister wants to do is stand in my lap and jump with those chubby legs!

* Rowan has been napping in his crib for the last few weeks now! It's dark and quiet in there and I think that's really helped him to settle down and get in the habit of napping. I bounce him for only a few minutes, and then lay him down on his side with night-night bunny and he is out! He is taking about three naps a day now. While I miss him napping on me, it's nice to have some time to myself.

* Sleeping in his crib during the day has helped him transition to sleeping in his own room at night too. We've only been doing this the last few nights, but he's done really well with it! I decided it was time to get him in his own bed mainly because we're re-doing our bedroom so we're sleeping in the smaller guest room bed. Rowan and Jared take up so much room! I was so squished that even with them both sleep I couldn't sleep. Rowan has been a really restless sleeper lately too so that didn't help any. I still bring him in bed with me after his early morning feeding, and we snuggle and sleep for another hour or two.

*We've put on some educational tv for Rowan to watch a few times and he LOVES it!! It is really weird to watch him sit so still and just watch it intently.

* Squirmy is an AWESOME eater. He gobbles up his rice cereal, nurses like a champ, and this week we started some banana and avocado too! He loves it all and hardly spits any back out.

* Rowan loves to give slobbery kisses. So adorbz.

* R is ALL about playing with me. He will laugh and laugh when we play peek-a-boo, when we dance around the living room together, when we play with toys and sing.... you name it... he loves to play. He is so happy! Until I have to leave the room and stop playing with him and then he has a little heart attack. Oh silly boy :)

* He has just started reaching for me when someone else is holding him and he wants me. I almost cried the first time he did it it was so darn cute.

*R loves the sound of his own voice. Boy is noisy! And sometimes he will say "mama" when prompted.  I don't know that this really counts though, it's probably still just baby noises.

*When I am holding him and someone else is taking to Rowan, he will smile and coo at them and then bury his face into me and peek out at them. Then he'll smile at them again and hide his face on me again. He's a little tease :)

*Mister is in size 3 diapers, and 6-9 month clothes. Slow down dude!

*He is starting to copy. Jared will blow bubbles at him, and Rowan will do it back. They go back and forth doing it for a while! It's so cute.

*He can sit up on his own for a few seconds. Mostly he just falls over though, or bends right in half to grab at his feet.

*Rowan hates: car seats, swing seat, bouncy seat... anything that straps him in at all. He hates that! Getting dressed. Don't end his nakey time! Being alone. Mama's boy anyone?

Mama:
* My hair is still falling out like crazy. Everyone tells you about the PP hair loss, but I didn't believe it! Especially because it took about 3.5-4 months for it to happen to me. But seriously... how am I not bald?! There is hair EVERYWHERE. It comes out in huge clumps in the shower, every time I brush my hair, and pretty much all day long even though I almost always have it in a pony tail. I might need a wig soon.

* I forgot to say a few months ago- I can finally fit my wedding rings back on! I couldn't until 2 MONTHS PP. Wow. I got sooo swollen.

*My linea nigra is still there. Who knows how long it's going to want to hang out.

* My milk supply has regulated. At first I had thought that my supply tanked because I didn't feel super full anymore, but I am getting the same amount of milk - I just don't have that "full" feeling anymore unless I go a really long time in between feedings which is rare. I had also stopped pumping which I think had a lot to do with it. My freezer was WAY too full of milk, but I actually am going to start again so that I can build up the freezer even more and hopefully cut back Rowan's nursing sessions by one or two during the day by the start of the summer to try and get my period back. Which will be a separate post... but we'd like to get pregnant with baby #2 soon!

*I adore being a mommy. Rowan was chomping on some frozen banana mush and making a huge mess and touched me all up with his sticky hands and I just smiled because it was the BEST. I love watching my son discover new things every day and learn and grow. I love making baby food, and giving baths, and singing silly songs. This is the most fulfilling thing i've ever experienced. I can't get enough! Some days are hard, especially if Rowan's had a crabby day and the crying starts to drive me insane... but we always get through it and the Lord always gives me enough patience to still enjoy him. And Jared is really really good about helping out with him- especially if we've had a rough day. (which are getting less and less the older he gets)

Easter!

Rowan's first Easter was wonderful! We had so much fun!

We went to the Good Friday service at church...

We picked leaves to decorate our eggs..

We went over to my sisters for dinner...

Easter morning we read the Bible together all snuggled up in our bed,

and little mister got a special Easter basket with baby goodies!

We got all dressed up... 

We had dinner next door with Grammy and Grampa (Jared's parents)

... hope you had a wonderful Easter too!!